I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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