so that wasnt chicken after all
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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