Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
