Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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