HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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