Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
