So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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