Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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