Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We are all done wearing pants today
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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