the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
