Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
