well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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