You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize