I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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