TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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