He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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