just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
