i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I love you. Go after that dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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