Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
