So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
