this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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