No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We had sex on a dog bed..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
