dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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