Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's blow job season.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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