it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
