he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Quick, to the slutcave!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
