Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
