I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
