i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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