Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
