my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you bring me the toilet please
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
