its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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