rhymes with "ouble enetration"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
