I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
