On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
