I'm going to jail i love you
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i need some magic done to my vagina
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
