who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think my mom watched the whole time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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