No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have tasted many bathrooms
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
