Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
