I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
