Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
