when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
