he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
