Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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