Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
FUCK WHALES
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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