Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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