I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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