Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
