believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
