I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
