You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
