My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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