well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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