my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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