I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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