i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize