I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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