Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
