it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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