What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
