Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize