I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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