I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize