Plan B is the new Plan A
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
