Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
