I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Panties = found
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