i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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