ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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