Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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