what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
