So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
