You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
